So hey i finally have the time to write anything in my blog and i guess it's far too long over due hahaha people have been saying hey why never update your blog anymore? Well i'm sorry but i got alot of work/distractions heh heh heh so here I am writing and I have read all your comments and I shall use PARAGRAPHS from now on hahahahaha..

So it all started like this, I was out having dinner with Carmen, Lance and Aunty Carrie (Crys's Mum) while dinner, Carmen decided to call Crys to rekindle of whats left of me and her at that time and yes we broke up already by that time. In her conversation with Crys, she deviously plotted to bring me to Kuching to surprise Crys and maybe that slight spark could start a blazing fire once more. During that conversation, Crys told Carmen that I just wasn't there for her and was devastated by the fact that i couldn't get to go to KL. So she said if i went to Kuching then maybe that's fate showing her that we were meant to be or something like that because as most of you might know, my mom would go morbid and kill me if i went. But if i didn't go, then there will be nothing more to tell between us.

So that was my initial reason to go to Kuching but as the story unfolds, motives of the trip changed and you will find out that the outcome is deferred from what i thought it would be..

So before i left on the plane for Indonesia, yes i know its a very old story hahahaha its quite long and dragged on actually, so we were texting alot before i left since the first day that she went to KL i've been accompanying her so she wouldn't feel lonely or anything like that because it was a new environment and she could use someone to talk to before fully finding her ground and friends there. Plus ok, i'll admit it but i missed her alot. As days go by in our conversation, she was telling me if i went to KL, things would be much better for us and could even possibly be with me again and all, don't get me wrong guys thats part of my reason to go there, but i didn't get to go and all that hope went away. She found another guy capable of taking care of her she says but at that time she said she just liked him and unlikely to fall for him deeply. As i was waiting for my plane to Indonesia, she was with him at a pool gathering and she was texting but she suddenly stopped. Before then i had an idea that she would in fact indeed fall for him but i was more convinced now. As hurt as I am i just wanted her to be happy.

She promised to come online while i was in Indonesia so we could go online and find each other on MSN, but while i was there, i spent most of my days there, or whats left of my free days there in front of the computer... Waiting and waiting but she never came on.. I spent most of my money on Internet credit in Lampung because the hotel there didnt offer free internet. Until to the point i just had enough to get her family and her small souvenirs and even ran out of money for smokes =( And she finally came on once, but we only talked for 10 mins and she said she was busy.. the second time she came on, she told me he was there and we didnt talk much either. When she came on she didn't even say hi and i had to do it... I know, sensitive juga this Virgil hahahaha.

Anyways i came back to Malaysia and i was very hurt indeed.. Friends tried talking to me, saying that he was just a rebound and all but somehow i am a very good judge of character and i knew that she had fallen for him. Even her best friend was saying hmmm probably he is just a rebound and all but in the corner of my mind i knew it was what it truly is.. There was no more hope for me. Anyways, thanks Cyrus, Fong, Rachel, Darren, Sherwynna, Emily, Yvonne and Bunz you guys tried to comfort me and gave me advice and that means a whole lot to me.

So It was during that time that i decided to give up on her. Let her be happy, I've told her once, if anyone else can make you happier than me, just tell me and I wont bother you anymore and she agreed. But she never told me, and i guess she was scared to hurt my feelings but yeah i'm used to people hurting me by then so it wasn't any biggie actually. So i decided to go to Kuching to ask her that question and if she said that she is happier with him, I wanted to say like the last good bye and never find her again, Its for her own good and my own good as well.. As you might have read in my previous posts, this was what my dream was about.

So the days counted down as to the day of the trip and i was starting to have doubts, maybe i should just don't go and just never find her again. Like let me just deal with it myself because i might not be able to take it if i see her. But in the very last few days i decided to go because i liked someone, and i wanted to clear things off quickly and clean though pain but i did it so i could be ready for a new relationship. I know this sounds very illogical and stupid but since when has love been logical, rational or smart? Another problem avoiding me from going was my parents.. I told them I wanted to go to Kuching a few days before the trip and they forbid me.

On the day of the trip, The flight was at 4.50pm i think, in the morning i had a long talk with my dad telling him on why i had to do this and i insisted this was the only way. He sort of understood or at least he tried hard to. My mum on the other hand was shouting at me all the way when i was packing my things and i just didn't care for once. Like she ruined my chance to go to KL i'm not gonna let anyone or anything stop me this time. Some things people just have to do on their own though stupid but its for their welfare. So i rushed to the airport and was almost late. I when i arrived, the counter was closed and i couldnt check in my bag, luckily it was small enough to be hand carried in. Carmen has been calling my phone non stop and even she thought i chickened out and not gonna go but hey i made it on time.. hahahahaha soon after i checked in, it was time to board the plane. Perfect timing asshole i thought to myself hahahaha.

So i sat next to Lance in the plane and we talked and i always treated him like a little brother of mine and we were playing and talking and we didnt even realise we were already at Kuching hahahaha. When we got there, there was only one thought in my head, Oh shit Virgil what have you done? You're here and you're so screwed =S .... We waited for Crys because she was on a flight from KL and there she came. Me, Carmen and Lance was waiting at the bottom of the escalator where she would appear. My heart sank the moment i saw her and i felt like running away but too late she already saw me.. So i just stood there like a stone that it was even so hard for me to say hi to her. Hahahaha i literally froze and then she hugged all of us and i felt the blood back in my body and PHEW hahahaha i dont know precisely what was going through my head but it was too many emotions all mixed up together to form anxiety and confusion hahahaha.

So the first day, we all just mingled with the family and it felt so odd and awkward for me but Aunty Hester made me feel more comfortable in talking with the rest. That was the moment where the thought, "Oh shit Virgil what have you done? You're here and you're so screwed =S" raced through my head over and over again and i was soooooooo hancurrr hahahahaa.. I was sleeping in the living room with lance and I was doing some work and only managed to talk to Crys a little bit for that day I was just feeling so awkward..

That night I had a dream, i forgot what it was but I woke up in the morning saying to myself with full determination " eh fucker, you're here already, just go for it.. Nothing to lose now.. Too late to turn back you shit head " And so that day i braved myself to talk to everyone more... tried to make the best of everything.. and yes i think i did pretty well mixing with them heh heh heh.. that afternoon while everyone was busy getting ready for her dad's birthday party and dressing up, i had a chance to talk to her alone.. so i talked about my feelings like asking whether he makes her happier than me and all and she finally said yes i knew i had it coming but still it stabbed me right in the heart pretty deep.. I wanted to tell her my intentions of coming in Kuching but somehow my balls just rolled away into some corner.. Hahahahaha so we went to the dinner and i said to myself " Damn you asshole just tell her la you bitch" so i decided if i get another chance with her alone, i'll tell her straight.. Oh and we sang a song together hahahaha Hero by Enrique

The chance came sooner than i thought, as the night progressed, crys's mom and dad went for an after party and no one was in the house except us, her grand parents, the maid, Lance and Carmen. So after Lance and Carmen went to sleep, i had a talk with Crys and she got pissed at me when i told her that I didn't wanna see her again and all.. And as usual she gets pissed and i'm the one ending up apologizing... Some things never change eh? hahahaah so in the end we agreed to be friends and we had a nice chat after that.. Just as if we were just friends all these times.. and it was good..

The next day we spent it going around shopping and eating together and we had fun laughed alot hahahaha it was good.. Nothing much to state about the third day except that it was her cousin's marriage and we all went together and after that we went to her aunt's house.. We went to play games with little Stephan, Lance, Carmen & little Nicole.. Hahahah i remember having a glass of wine, and Carmen and Crys were forbidden to drink hahahahahaha so in the room i saw Carmen eye-ing my glass of wine so i offered her hahaha ok this is how the conversation went :

Virgil : Aiya if you want it so much i give you 1 sip la i wont tell your parents..
Carmen : Eeeeee i dun wan laaaaa~~~
Virgil : Oh Ok then its up to you Hahahahaha It's your losss
Carmen : Cheh... * Snobby Face *
Virgil : Hahahaha You sure or not?
Carmen : Ok la I take 1 sip only la * Takes one sip*
Virgil : See that wasn't so bad..
Carmen : Cheh
Virgil : Wah no thank you also ah?
Carmen : Cheh.. fine thank you thank you hehehe
Virgil : =.= you're welcomed

**Wow i think thats like the first time i actually typed that emoticon lol**

*Virgil playing with Lance and Carmen was doing God knows what*

* Suddenly Carmen jumps on the bed where Virgil, Lance and Stephan was seated*

Virgil : Uih gila also you
Carmen : Hehehehe hows vishall oh..
Virgil : He's fine i guess.. * while ngam ngam was texting vishall*
Carmen : uihh let me see what you text with him ehhhhhhhh
Virgil : Ok ok hold your horses woman!

*So she read all the messages and this charade went on for about 30 minutes then she suddenly got hyperactive and started bouncing on the bed*

Virgil : Uih why you this? mabuk kah? Only one sip...
Carmen : Heheheeheheheh

Virgil : * Looks at the empty wine glass.... * @@ Uih u gila kah you carmen ppl havent even drink and only give you one sip you go kasi habis! I offered you a snack man not the whole kitchen! hahahahahahahahahahaha
Carmen : Hehehehehehehe

* For the remainder of the conversation almost all she said was, uih ask vishall bla bla bla, hehehehe and cheh.. *





Ok hahahahaha so the next day it was time to go back... Crys and her family's flight was at like 3 in the afternoon mine was at 10 plus night... @@ hahahahaha so i saw them off and waited at the airport... Luckily Emily kept me company on the phone hahahaha we texted each other and ngam ngam was like the harvest moon festival so we went to see it.. and i got back to KK at about midnight... Stupid Silas pick me up, i went in the car and it wreaked of alcohol hahahahahaha.. anyways that was my trip to Kuching.. Since then nothing much has happened with my life except drinking and more drinking.. hahahaha I'll write more about it on my next post.. Till then, take care.. hahahaha Phew took me like 2 hours to write this hahahaha

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