Two nights ago when i was online, i felt under appreciated. You got upset, i tried comforting you, you pushed me away and got angry..

Last night, i texted you good night after not even hearing from you the whole day.. Suprisingly, you called back. You sound like you're not angry but i in fact knew you were at least upset about me. I didn't do anything, you say i always pick others and myself over you, if that was true i wouldnt even bother trying to make it home earlier everytime when i go out. Not even my mom or dad could get me to do that but i did it for you..

Ok guys, (here i go again adressing non existing people =/) im sure all of you are pretty confused but this is how it goes. 3 nights ago, i went out to chill out and catch up with a friend whom i have not met for a very long time. He moved to Thailand when we were in primary school. He was my best friend haha he used to come over and played counter strike with badminton rackets hahaha oh my god that was pretty stupid yet awesome.. Ok back to topic, i went out with him then i met another friend along with her friend. She just got divorced and was pretty devastated. So i took it that it was upon me to try to comfort her by showing her an awesome night out. Plus, she said "Uih bro, i wanna get wasted tonight.. and have a world class night". As all my close friends know, the minute anyone of them says something like that, i would do all i can to ensure maximum fun to liven up the event or to distract them away from pain because these are the only 2 occasions where people actually say it.

So I did make it a world class night for her and got pretty late but still quite early as compared to what ive usually been doing before Bbbyy was in the picture. The next day, she was pretty cool about it, until came night time when she just suddenly got pissy =/ i took it that it was her PMS but she keeps saying it isnt.. She gets chronic PMS-es and her actions show that she is upset with me but then when i say like " youre upset with me arent you?" she will be like "did i say that?" then get even more upset. Now, even if you dont say it, i might be dumb but i can understand that actions speak louder than words.

Ok back to the topic, last night when she called me back which took me by suprise, she was ok at first. Then i told her that i got to sleep. I'm sorry but ive been waiting online for you until 3 a.m. then i have to wake up at 6 because i have errands to run and the night before i didnt sleep until the sun was up thinking about you (yes i lied to you saying i was asleep, i just didnt want to talk to you because as much as it hurts me, i know you will get even more upset with me for some odd reason) and then i think i only had about 30 minutes of shut eye before being violently awaken by my parents to follow them to go see houses for the whole day cz they wanna move. So yeah by last night, i was pretty fucking tired thank you. Thus, i couldnt talk to you because i needed to sleep really really bad.

Well during that phone call, it was pretty ok i mean no one was raising their voices and all. Then i asked her, hey you're reaching back to KK on Tuesday late night right? We agreed before this that i was the one who was gonna pick her up, bring her for a nice supper at the sang nyuk mien i always wanted to take her to, then maybe go to the nice spot over Inanam where we had our first kiss. However, what she said next just took me back and I had nothing to say anymore, she just told me casually like" No, its ok my sister is picking me up".. Wth man.. You might have forgotten the promises we made even if it was a short time or long time back but I don't and i try my best to remember all of them as forgetful that I am.

So after she said that, i just felt so empty and disappointed i just needed to be away. So, all i could say was good night sweet dreams and that i loved her. I waited for her to say something in return but nope nothing came.. So yeah i just hung up and tried to sleep which didnt happen =/

This morning when i was violently awaken again, I really hate it when they do that like seriously hate it, i went to see her blog and saw a post by her saying shes done with me ignoring her, done with me hanging up on her when she wants to talk to me and about 50 other things she was done with me.. She even compared me with her ex in a bad way. When i did that last time, like accidently, she blew her top and argued with me for a few days.. But oh well.. i guess thats human nature, what others cant do to us, we do to them. Lastly, she said that she's done with everything.

This leaves me in a dilemma, the last time she said "im just sick and tired of everything" and hung up, i thought we broke up, so when people asked me that night "hey man how u and ur gf?" i said broken up.. cz what else can it be when someone says something like that right? Plus her facebook status went single which she later claimed she didnt put single and she just put as none but yeah ok, with those signs i mean i obviously thought we were broken up. So when she found out i told people we broke up she got angry pula.. so i really dont know la now if shes just saying shes done with everything or is she really done with everything..

She doesnt even know my side of the story yet, this morning im off to work to get money to fill up my car with petrol so that i can take her around when shes back.. and thats how i spent a few of my free days last week when i had tests almost everyday, i didnt really study cz i wanted to work to try get some cash for when she is back. But oh well, i never told her so i dont expect her to know that.. I even ironed my long sleeve shirt, the one she likes me wearing to go and pick her up from the airport like 5 days in advance =/ i guess now its crumpled back la but who cares la its nt like im gonna pick her up anymore also.. Whatever la.. seriously because this time, i think my spirit has given up.. I still love her but whats the point in loving her if she is suffering from it right? =/ Good bye guys until next time..